Lighthouse

Becoming a mother

without a mother

is like trying to steer a ship through the sea 

in the dead of night.

The ocean is vast and deep and overwhelming

enough as it is.

But now it is dark too.

Your lighthouse is missing.

It is not there to light the way for you

or to guide you safely home.

And whilst this alone is tough enough,

you must also now become the lighthouse

for someone else.

You must light yourself up for them

even though you feel such darkness.

You must keep them afloat

even though you feel like you’re drowning.

Yes, being a mother

without a mother 

is like being thrown in at the deep end as both 

a parent and a child all at once.

And as your child’s mother, you know you need to swim.

But as your mother’s child, you are not sure how.

But please know,

that even though your mother is not here,

you are not without her.

And the reason you know how to be the lighthouse

now is because of her. 

Because her light lives in you. 

It lives through you. 

It is still lighting the way and guiding you home.

So though the ocean is still 

vast and deep and overwhelming,

trust that you can steer your way through the darkness.

Because of her. 

Because she taught you how to shine.

✨

-beckyhemsley